Meet Slovak:



   Name: Slovak
 Height: 5’7 (Profile claimed: 5’10)
   Body Type: Average
   Occupation: Carpenter
   First Outfit: Jeans, Affliction t-shirt, beat up leather jacket
   Fun Fact: I’ve run into this fool a lot recently and
have awkwardly hidden or ran in the opposite direction each time.


This guy messaged me countless times.

After I hastily deleted my POF account, (the 2nd time of several) Slovak somehow found my email address and began inundating me there. On a particularly boring day at the office (and I guess 5th time’s a charm!) I welcomed the attention and gave him my number. We ended up talking for a couple hours every day while he was out of town and eventually made plans to hangout. On the day of our date, he arrived at my house and presented me with a single, red, gas station rose.

We pulled out of my driveway and Slovak casually mentioned his license wasn’t valid.  He had acquired a few thousand dollars worth of infractions and wasn’t in a rush to pay them.  I tightened my seatbelt and we swerved to sushi.  As he opened the menu, a gold glimmer on his left hand caught my eye: a ring.  I inquired about it and he insisted it was too big for his other hand.  This transitioned into an awkwardly, long discussion about his X and her kid, throughout which he continually emphasized that the kid wasn’t his:

Nez: How old is this kid?
Slovak: She’s 5.
Nez: And you were with X for 6 years?
Slovak: Yeah, around there.
Nez: So, you started dating her when she was pregnant with someone else’s baby?
Slovak: *Pauses and shifts uncomfortably* Yup, that’s right.
Nez: How noble… :| .

I was too curious to let this one go, so we hung out a few more times after that before he dropped off the face of the earth.  One productive evening, I happened to find him on Facebook and he happened to have a public profile.  The X happened to have written on his wall and she also happened to have a public profile!  Some light stalking ensued and I discovered several “DADDY + ME” albums.  This kid that supposedly wasn’t his was an exact replica of him and it coincidently had the same last name.

Slovak is just Scum.

A couple months later, I saw he had “Viewed Me” on POF and when I clicked on his profile I noticed he constantly changed the answer to “Do you have any children?” from “yes” one month to “no” the next.  He had the nerve to message me, asking if I was over whatever it was that I was so mistakenly angry about. I blocked him immediately.

Note to Self: Do not entertain some guy who continually messages you after you let the convo die. Chances are your subconscious is telling you “This dude’s a skid! Don’t waste your time, grl!”

Click here to check out our next fool!*


  1. Fish Fanatic says:

    “I tightened my seatbelt and we swerved to sushi.” Hahaha. Oh… this one. My favourite.

  2. Rose says:

    “a single, red, gas station rose”… The funniest line ever. I could just picture this happening!

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